Today, AccuShoot is pleased to announce our latest version 209 of our Enforcement Droid series, cleverly named the ED-209. We’ve kept this project a secret until now because the first 208 versions did not always go as hoped. But now we have a major success to share with the world!

So what is different about ED-209? By working closely with BigML, we’ve combined the amazing Artificial Intelligence power of LLMs (Large Language Models) with our self propelled automated targeting system to create an enforcement droid that not only responds to spoken commands, but actually learns and evolves to conquer unexpected situations.

No need to hire and train expensive and potentially faulty human operators to manually control your enforcement droid – the ED-209 is fully intelligence enabled! Simply give ED-209 a mission verbally and sit back as your commands are carried out with the cold precision and unexpected fragility that only AI can provide!

Ask ED-209 for a coffee and there is no need to worry if the coffee shop is closed, you will have that hot cup of coffee in no time!

Even better, the live fire targeting system with it’s advanced predictive physics engine has a 100% hit rate, way better than the Dallas police force! And that accuracy is maintained even if the target is moving, behind cover, surrendering, unarmed, or even actively fleeing!

We know everyone is worried about AI enabled weaponry making mistakes, so we are pleased to announce that after thousands of hours of laborious work, our technicians have improved the ED-209 to complement that perfect accuracy with a 100% improvement in valid target selection!

Gone are the days of ED-208’s measly 6% valid target rate, the ED-209 is able to choose a valid target 12% of the time and hit it with 100% accuracy!

Sales go live after our demonstration to the AccuShoot Board of Directors this afternoon, so be sure you are the first to order your ED-209 as supplies will be limited.

NOTE: Thanks for reading our April Fool’s post thus far. It may be a while until ED-209-type fully-autonomous drones walk the face of the earth, perhaps for the better. Meanwhile, stick to the AccuShoot app next time you go to the range!